When I was young, I used to think if I only knew what my mother or my teacher was thinking, I could have done the right thing to please them. If there’s a bubble talk that I can just read and do or say what is correct, it would be convenient. If I can only read everyone’s mind, then I could treat them fairly.
Growing up had been more difficult. My questions have piled up about situations where I’ve found myself uncomfortable. Is the person I was talking to telling the truth? Is this person have pure intention? Why what I have wished for is so elusive? Have my actions had not been enough? Then I’d arrive at the thought of, “If I only knew what is right, then I wouldn’t be here. This is what life is all about – not knowing everything.
Different kinds of uncomfortable situations can stimulate a different emotions. While standing strong during the day, I bury and sulk from the unfairness of this world as I sleep. If everything had not been the way I wanted it to be, I wish I could just be like air – invisible.
If people had thought I was away and like the air they don’t see, would they wish I was there? Does the absence of my opinion will turn their world upside down because they wouldn’t even know what had been on my thoughts?
If I were air, would the people whisper the truth? Would they mumble their desires I wished to know for me to be enough? Would they reveal their secrets? If the world had been created with all the questions answered right away, will it be a better place?
But I’m not air and, knowing everything is not just how the world revolves.
Not knowing the answers is a part of who I will be. Not knowing the answers gives me the chance to reflect on my wrongs and realize what is right without reading somebody else’s mind. I am building myself or reinventing myself because the world was already defined and, dealing with it helps me know who I am without always seeking validation. The world does not define me; I define who I am. It’s quite funny to think about it – any kind of word cannot be defined without characters.
Word = a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used with others (or sometimes alone) to form a sentence and typically shown with a space on either side when written or printed.
There’s a lot of circumstances in my life that I felt less valued and less heard despite doing the good deeds. There are more cases when my wishes didn’t come true. Until I have finally been able to understand that I was being protected I was not ready for it yet. The universe helps me reflect I was focusing on the wrong ones.
I have come to realize that I was viewing it all wrong. Everything comes in perfect timing and that the world has always been not fair because all people have unique destinations. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to bad people. Life is unfair but, that’s what makes life meaningful. After all, this life is just a borrowed time and, you are here for a purpose. No matter how painful life may get, I still choose to be a human than air because life, no matter how painful, it can still be filled with happiness.
Life can give you a bunch of challenges, but I hope you can give time to always reflect.
With that being said, welcome to my ups and downs by reading my posts from this category.